* If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
* Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
* Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
* Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
* My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
* If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
* Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
* A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
* Alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who is in a hurry?
* Can you do anything that other people can't? Sure, I can read my handwriting!
* Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.
* When a wife was asked,"What book do you like best?" she answed "My husband's cheque book."
* Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep.
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